


The Clever Hobbit

by BakerStTardis (Sokashi)



Series: Hobbit Advent [20]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:11:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokashi/pseuds/BakerStTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hobbit Advent Day Twenty. Prompt pudding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Clever Hobbit

"THAT-" Bilbo thundered and really, it was a surprise that such a small, sweet creature could so such a thing, but then Bilbo always was surprising. The hobbit stood in the middle of the room looking utterly horrified and furious even as food slid out of his hair. "That PUDDING was SPECIAL." His glare encompassed the whole room of dwarves who'd paused in their current food fight. Some even managed to stifle their giggles.

"Was it a hundred year old pudding?" Fili asked curiously, a handful of said pudding dripping in his palm. Someone snorted in amusement.

"Or maybe your Uncle Mungo's?" Bofur offered from the back. The giggling intensified.

Bilbo glared, breathing hard, but there was no respite. Not even from Thorin or Balin who were usually more well behaved. "You have to admit, Bilbo, it flew very well." Balin said in his reasonable tone.

Unfortunately for a room full of dwarves, Bilbo wasn't in the mood to be reasonable. He glared, he didn't even sputter as he wiped a handful of pudding from his face. "I collected those ingredients for WEEKS." He challenged. "It has sat and soaked for days to get the right flavor-" 

"This was the RIGHT flavor?" Someone muttered. "I thought it'd gone sour."

Bilbo's glare swung towards the voice. "I WASN'T DONE PREPARING IT!" The room fell silent for a moment after his bellow, then the giggling started again. Bilbo closed his eyes at the sound, breathed. Felt the pudding slide down his face, but at the solid flop of a sound it made hitting the floor he found he was done. Turning on his heel he strode away, silently swearing that ever single dwarf would regret the moment they'd touched his pudding.

 

 

"We should apologize." 

Thorin sighed as he sank into the pool. "We will. All of us." He said and closed his eyes for a moment in enjoyment. Getting the bathing pools clean and working again had been the best thing they'd done once reclaiming the mountain. "Leave him alone for now. We'll let him cool off and apologize tomorrow."

"Yeah, but, did you see his face?" Kili giggled across from him as he carded globs of pudding from his hair. "Bilbo makes the best faces."

All the dwarves chuckled in agreement as they bathed. It had been a rather marvelous food fight. The pudding really had thrown well, keeping its consistency through the air but splatting wonderfully on contact. It also seemed to keep consistency when stuck in dwarf hair. Fili and Kili were scrubbing chunks of it out with laughing scowls and Thorin shook out his braids with a frown. "What's in this? It doesn't want to come out. Fili, toss me the soap."

"Use this one." Fili said, tossing him a bottle. "The others weren't cleaning as well. It's pretty sticky once it dried."

Thorin grunted his thanks then they were all sharing the soap as they tried to clean the pudding from hair and beards. The water ran a funny color for a few minutes before washing clear in the current and no one really thought much about it other than the slight frown. They were too busy talking and splashing each other to really notice.

 

Bilbo had slept peacefully, despite his anger from the night before. He deliberately didn't think of his pudding because he didn't want to continue being mad and the dwarves would learn their lesson soon. The thought made him smile as he stretched languidly and contemplated the likelihood of him getting to sleep in a little more. Right on cue there was a knock on his door. It wasn't quite a pounding although it might not be his imagination that it sounded like rather restrained fury. His smile widened as he grabbed his dressing gown and wandered over to the door. The knocking came again, a little more forcefully as he reached it. "Hold on." He called as he opened it and at the sight out his door, beamed in good cheer. "Good morning!" He chirped up at the collection of dwarves in his hall.

The Durins were front and center, Thorin staring down at him furiously. The dwarf king's hair was blue, the grey stripes purple in the light. Bilbo grinned so wide his face hurt. "Thorin." He greeted.

"Bilbo." The king growled. "You are behind this, aren't you?" It wasn't even a question really. Bilbo peered around him. Fili and Kili were there. Fili's blonde hair had turned VERY blue, Kili's dark purple in the light. Behind them were the rest of the dwarves. Bombour's red locks were rather brilliantly purple, Dwalin's beard a deep blue. All thirteen dwarves were there, hair blue or purple, looking disgruntled to angry. 

Bilbo grinned at the sight and tucked his hands into his dressing gown pockets rather smugly. "Why, yes. I am." 

Thorin growled. "You think you're clever."

The hobbit's grin turned toothy. "I am very clever." He stated. "And don't worry, it'll wash out eventually. And maybe next time all of you will show a little more respect for my Yule pudding." Without waiting for a reply, he turned and shut the door, whistling to himself. It really was going to be a good day.

**Author's Note:**

> In my head social bathing and grooming is common for dwarves. How else can they keep such magnificent hair and beards? I also imagine they tend to use fancy products on it when they can. It was probably a toss up between elves and dwarves on who first came up with shampoo and conditioner and mousse. (While it looks like most men haven't even discovered washing their hair if you'll notice.)


End file.
